Monday, March 23, 2009


MK and I were walking Bela along the Monongahela River. The buildings across the way are the Allegheny County jail complex. Here MK and Bela stand on one of the many canoe and kayak launches down by the riverside. Actually, riverS-side.
I love Pittsburgh, I really do, but living on the southside comes at a might steep price:
1. The drunks. Drunk people, or I should say, young drunk people, eat pizza after too many beers and shots and then puke all over the street. Or worse, puke and crap their pants, and then leave their filthy boxers on the street, next to their pile of vomitus. I hate that shit! Literally. Bela of course loves it, which is why beagles are in charge of nothing.
2. There is no parking. If the slightest thing is happening, like say the Mayor is eating a pierogi, then all of the parking on the south side disappears. Poof! Ravenstahl is eating a pierogi! God help us if he's washing it down with an Iron City.
3. There is no three. Really, #2 is my biggest beef. I hate the no parking. And it relates directly back to #1, the out of town drunks who come to the southside to enjoy one of the 10,000 bars that we have. And boy, even in this economy, do they come. In droves from the suburbs. Unlike Ohioans, who actually prefer imbibing at TGIFridays and Appleby's, Pittsburgh suburbanites like to slum it, but not really slum it, or they'd go to Homewood. They want an authentic 'bar' experience. Like maybe where a fight might break out, or they might get lucky and can have sex in their car with someone they just met outside of the Ukrainian Club on dollar draft night.
I know. My country roots are showing. We had plenty of parking out in the middle of nowhere.


drollgirl said...

I have never been to your fair city! but the no parking thing is so bogus.

obama came to beverly hills last week and it was A TOTAL FUCKING NIGHTMARE. do not ever come here again, obama! we will watch you on tv!

it took me another 40 minutes to get to work. traffic is always fucked her, and they had everything rerouted and cops everywhere and it was one massive clusterfuck.

but i did not see any poopy boxers. or any barf. blech. that is just disgusting!

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Droll - You have to experience the utter pain that is the Warhol. You can stay with us! Ten rooms of nothing but oversized prints of shoes that may make you long for an ax.
Think about it. How often do you get such an unappealing offer that fits into your job description?

Miss Kitty said...

Sweetie, Droll really needs to come when she can "enjoy" both the Warhol AND the Carnegie International at the same time. Nothing makes you long for an ax like the Carnegie International!

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Thanks for dropping by, MK ;) You know the best thing about the International? How we complain about it long after we've fled the museum. I will never, ever forget the Chinese chamberpot instillation. I changed my life.