Thursday, May 8, 2008

Top Chef 4.9

It was inevitable. Poor Nikki. Why didn't you go ahead and take control? For the love of Jesus, the saints, Mary and Joseph, and all the rest, why didn't you seize the day? Carpe diem turned into just a run of the mill crapfest. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
There was no guest chef for this installment, which was a relief because often I think the guest chef is distracting to both the contestants and the viewer. Frankly, I'm just not impressed by famous chefs. Not when that ghoul Emeril is considered one.
The Quickfire was a Relay Race, where each cheftestant is tasked with a common kitchen/food preparation and the team that finishes first (duh) wins. This would've been completely unremarkable had Dale not been such a colossal baby and just made the mayonnaise. But no. He wasn't going to make any stinking mayo. I bet that if he's watching the show now being aired, he's cringing in his size 7 shoes. Stephanie made the mayo faster than Nikki could muster and Dale's Relay team lost the challenge, which prompted him to flip out.
Sheesh, dude, get a grip! I haven't seen this much nonsensical drama since 'Passions' went off the air. A knee jerk psych evaluation of his behavior would be that he's cracking up under the pressure. It's not just the competition itself, instead I suspect that this goes to the very core of how he sees himself. It's why he's a horrid team player, why he can't take direction from a woman, and why he has to assert himself in an embarrassingly posturing manner. Actually, he's lucky that he's still in the mix.
The Elimination Challenge - Wedding Wars
The Relay Race winning team, Antonia, Andrew, Richard and Stephanie got to pick either the bride or the groom to work with the menu for the wedding reception. Richard picked the bride's side, which I thought was crazy. Women can be so demanding about their special Princess-for-a-day day. I photographed my cousin's wedding and as bad luck would have it I had a fever of 103F that day. I could barely stand let alone remain perched atop a step ladder so that I could get overhead shots of the vows being exchanged. But was I cut any slack? Not on your life. I finally snuck out midway through the reception and collapsed on a sofa in the lobby of the Holiday Inn.
Anyway, to get back to other ramblings, the groom team of Dale, Spike, Nikki and Lisa is so full of tension that you can smell the impending failure across space and time. Lisa, for a change, says almost nothing, but not to worry! Dale exudes negativity like a super charged electro magnetic forcefield from Bizarro world. I can't believe no one has ever stabbed him in the kitchen. He's a nightmare. A walking, talking demon child nightmare.
The bride's team wins, with Richard getting the nod as elimination winner, which he promptly hands over to Stephanie for making the cake. You know, there's just something, dare I say it, gracious about Richard. Sure, he sometimes fails when he tries to be witty and/or clever, but underneath it all he's a great chef and a genuinely nice human being. Like the exact opposite of Dale.
For the groom's team the only thing that the wedding guests or the judges liked was Lisa's cake. At the losers judge's table Dale and Spike turned on each other. Spike, I hate to admit, was right and Dale just made himself look even more of an ass than he already does. Meanwhile, Nikki refused to take credit (blame) for the Italian menu, despite being the self-annointed queen of Italian cuisine. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, poor thing. The world doesn't work that way. Not even a world set in a reality show. She was told to pack her knives and go, which was a surprise to no one.
I'm hoping that next week we get a break from the Dale drama.


Anonymous said...

There have been weeks where I was impressed with Dale. I just don't get why he's acting like such a jerk lately.

David Dust said...

Oi ... Dale and his drama. Enough already!

Click here for DavidDust's Top Chef Chicago recap.