Thursday, May 29, 2008
I've been thinking a lot lately about the workings of things. It's my version of religion and pondering my place in the universe. There's a shattering beauty in form, it's why stonies get all caught up in staring at their hands after one too many bong hits.
Anyway, while out on a nature walk earlier I came across a clutch of wildflowers that I couldn't immediately identify, so I picked a leaf and a flower and pressed it in my notebook to bring home and ID later (thanks Audubon Society field guides!). Sometimes I feel as if there's just too much. So much for the senses to process and appreciate and much too much for the mind to think about. It's haunting when not tormenting. So then I started thinking about what I really love, all the things that make life not just tolerable but exciting. Of course, first, is family. Where would I be without Miss Kitty and the kids and all the rest? Sure, my parents are annoying, but they never stop being annoying in new and clever ways. Spending time with them is like sniffing the pus gently drawn from a boil. You just can't stop yourself.
Second, I love gardening. Nothing is more gratifying than growing something and then incorporating it into a meal. That probably explains why I love making wine so much also. It's probably the Italian in me, but supper is absolutely not complete without a decent red wine. Miss Kitty and I finally sampled the mezza luna wine that we made. Initially I was distressed because it seemed harsh on the palate, but I allowed the bottle to breathe for twenty minutes or so, and then it was just perfect. We've got an alcohol content of 14.5%, which is a tad on the high side in my estimation, but I think it'll turn out being a fine wine. I think that we should make a barollo again next. Though that batch was good, I made a couple of mistakes and would like the chance to rectify that.
The natural world never ceases to be a source of amazement for me. Once Cree and I took a guided geological hike at McConnell's Mills and to see the effects of glaciation strewn across the steeply inclined landscape in the form of massive upended rock formations really put the forces of the Earth in perspective.
We're small, you know? We tell ourselves that god made us in his image, that god loves us, that we have a definite purpose and plan as designed by god...but what does any of that mean really? We are, we exist, but so does a tree, a rock, a cloud. And if god is indeed controlling the actions, thoughts, and hearts of billions of people, how is he any different than an elaborate puppetmaster Mary Sueing everybody endlessly?
No, we have free will, albeit freewill battling against our fears. What is god other than religion's ultimate tool of fear? God as boogeyman, and Satan as boogeyman times a thousand. Eh, I am ye of little faith.
Oh, and another thing I like: Puppies :)