Monday, December 15, 2008


Folks, it was bound to happen, or it was simply meant to be. Princess Unicorn has her own website now. Look how majestic she is! You can learn about the legend of Princess Unicorn (she is the daughter of the King of the Unicorns and the Queen of the Princesses, and she was doused with radiation by the evil Sorcerissa, which didn't harm her, but did give her magical powers), you can read the fan testimonials of the greatness that IS Princess Unicorn, and you can buy a t-shirt of Princess Unicorn. Sadly, you can't buy an actual Princess Unicorn doll as the whole thing is made up make believe by those goofy geniuses on The Office.

I've hated dolls my whole life (why won't the italics thing turn off!!!!) and somewhere there is a shallow grave full of naked headless Barbies to prove it, but I want this damn doll. Just looking at her makes me dream of a land where Unicorn Princesses and My Little Ponies frolick and play all the live long day in fields laden with chocolate drops instead and of poop and where the trees are the good flavored lollipops instead of lemon or grape.

So, to those wily marketers over at GE/NBC, in a downturned economy, you've got a real winner on your hands with this Princess Unicorn doll. I mean, if you can make ME want one, then surely there are millions and dozens of others who are willing to risk losing an eye to own their very own Princess Unicorn doll.

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