Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Jennifer, the Herbalist

Yes, I really just referred to myself in the third person. That's what happens when you've got a ridiculously common moniker. So, anyway, I'm a certified herbalist. Bet ya didn't know that! I only practice on my family and friends, so it's not some big career path. I'm simply too cheap to run to the doctor unless I think that whatever is wrong with me might kill me. Then I grudgingly go. Otherwise I'm out in the fields and woods gathering stuff to cure what ails me, and everybody else in my small circle. Today, to treat my horrid cold, I cut some chokecherry branches and I'm making real cherry cough syrup, nothing like that chemical crap you get at the store. Oh noes, this is the real McCoy. I've never made cough syrup before, usually treating a cold with lots of tea liberally doused with homemade brandy. But, I'm all out of brandy, and I don't like that fake flavored stuff they sell at the liquor store. Sooooooo, I'm making cough syrup and cherry brandy. The cherry brandy won't be readyl for several months, so that's just me planning ahead, which I should have done last year. Damn me in the past! A pox upon my shadow self!!!
Anyway, the syrup will be ready later today and I'll post tomorrow whether it works or not. If it works, I'll include the recipe for it. If it doesn't work you can send cash in lieu of flowers to MK to defer the cost of my impending cremation. :) I have a feeling it'll work. I mean, it was used to treat everything from whooping cough to emphysema in pre-WWI North America (waves to Canada).

4 comments:

~wicked~ said...

so, wise one...can i join in your small circle and tap into your herbalistic knowledge every so often?? i'm a huge fan of au naturel medicine 'cause i hates me those medical-so-called-i-am-god-and-know-everything-better-than-you hypocrites that only know how to initial a piece of paper so you can pump your already fragile body with more bad drugs whose names are protected in the name of 'pharmaceutical medicine' that make your whole body fuqd up even more...wow, that was one loooong sentence..or rant? meh, whatever

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Sure wick! Email me though if you've got specifics. snotrax at yahoo dot com. Be sure to put something in the subject line to let me know that it's you. A bunch of weird penis enlarging spam somehow always manages to get through my spam filter.

Natazzz said...

Aha! A woman of many talents...

I have to say though, I care much more about your ability to make your own wine than I do about your cough syrup making skills...

~wicked~ said...

LOLOL...as usual, jfp, you managed to make me laugh again...and thank you...'natazz' is right...you are definitely a woman of many talents and you have a fantastic online aura, did you know that?

here's hoping you'll feel much better very soon!

:-)