Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Hell is for kitchens

I'm not a regular viewer of this show. Indeed, I only drop in when there's nothing better to watch on the science channel (this evening I fore-went the evolution of the button in medieval Europe and how it later became a satanic sign of pride to Puritans, Quakers, and the Amish...who knew?).
I regularly watch Gordon Ramsay's BBC show, Flip This Kitchen Nightmare, or whatever it's called. But this spawn of Chucky Americanized version of that show, with a lot of tweaks and a completely different premise, is akin to being force fed nutrients through a rubber tube inserted up your nose and down your gullet. How awful are the contestants? The men are completely vile, foul mouthed and misogynistic (in a bad way). The women are incompetent cry babies who should be armed so that they can kill the men, and then themselves after a lengthy stand off with police. Did I neglect to mention that the teams are separated by sex? A lot of the women are young, nubile hot blondes. The men...not so much. Chubby bald kitchen hacks who name call the women and back stab anyone within arm's reach. Gee, I wonder why this show isn't more of a hit? I know I wanna see more middle-aged whiners who serve raw chicken complaining about almost everything. Don't you?
This show is hideous, even as reality shows go. The contestants are so wretched that you can't help but wonder what starving orphan from Darfur would be desperate enough to eat their cooking. I'll have that with a side of salmonella because my life doesn't suck enough already, sir.
But, to be fair to the cooks on the show competing for a chance to be executive chef at Ramsay's new LA eatery, Ramsay makes life hell for them. Ridiculous hell at that. Through editing or just plain genetics, he lacks any and all appeal. I almost hate him more now than Emeril (who, btw, is a ghoul...evidenced by his copious knuckle hair).
Ach, I'm going to have to give this show up, even if it means watching how shoelaces are slowly being replaced by velcro or how installing a composting toilet can provide enough natural gas to your home to fry an egg and heat one pot of tea. I've had enough! This season just sickens me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The show sucks.