Half Century of HiJinx

Today is quite auspicious. It's my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. At left is not a picture of them. In fact, who are these people?
Anyway, to celebrate and get them out of town for a few days, we, my siblings and I, pooled our funds and sent them to New Jersey. Nothing says 'We care' like two bus tickets to the Garden State.
The tickets were roundtrip. Give me a break. Mom and Dad are retirees. And like all retirees they like to go to casinos and gamble. There's just something about slot machines that's irresistible to old people. That's how they ended up in Atlantic City.
They're back now, which means that we have to have a huge dinner party and everyone is forced to attend. Reichter Von Sanchez is planning on wearing his black cape, as the weather has sufficiently chilled enough to warrant donning such outerwear. I was thinking about wearing my black leather pants, but as I've gotten older something terrifying has happened to my ass and the pants just don't have the same effect they used to. Fortunately Miss Kitty likes my ass no matter what it does, otherwise...bedlam.
Ah well. So, to Mom and Dad, I say congrats! None of us thought you'd make it this far, not after that unfortunate fork stabbing incident over the last lamb chop.