U-Holler

Don't Sit Under That Apple Tree

2011-09-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, more tent caterpillar pics! This was taken at my mom's, the tent caterpillar's having set up a nest in an apple tree. Typically the tree produces a bumper crop of apples every year, but not this year.

Eastern Tent Caterpillar, B&W

2011-09-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I got obsessed with photographing two very different things: Mushrooms and Eastern Tent Caterpillars. Above you see a sample of the latter, in glorious techno black and white.

Hogg's Tomb

2011-03-07T05:33:00.000-08:00

George Hogg's Grave, 2011

Don't ask me who G. Hogg is, because I have no clue. He's buried at Allegheny Cemetery, which is how I stumbled upon his funerary marker, or whatever the proper terminology may be.
I have been a way from this blog for six months. SIX MONTHS! Time, she slips away from me, like a little bit of pee when I sneeze.
Basically I've been focusing all of my energies on photography, exhibiting and getting represented in galleries. I've had some success with both, though significantly with the latter and getting accepted at Bottlebrush Gallery, where my work will be available for sale starting in May. Money, being the scourge of necessity, can be quite the kick in the pants.
Anyway, I'll try to update more regularly what I'm working on and how I'm doing with what I'm working on!

Oh Noes!

2010-09-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

And the Japanese Army was no match for Godzilla, again.

Meanwhile, Mothra Stewart surveyed the carnage from a distance, estimating how best to convert used mortar shell casings into beautiful, gift quality vases.

Study In Failure

2010-09-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

Behind the Curtain, 2010

A miasma of color! Really, a failed shot, and I could have deleted it from the camera, but then I thought, you know, I've always been partial toward the failed shot, the mistake, falling in the lake with a camera photograph. That sort of thing. I only wish there had been a blurry baby doll in there somewhere.

Arcane Irony

2010-09-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

Man in Doggles, 2010

Out of simple curiosity I looked up (googled) the most common last names in the USA. Mine registers at the tail end of the 300s. But that's not what I found so interesting. At numbers 932 & 933 are the surnames "Sweet" followed by "Justice". It sounds like the title of a novel that Jonathan Franzen wouldn't write, doesn't it? Sometimes you just have to step back and admire the universe. It either has a great sense of humor, or none at all. I'll stick with the former as I prefer to laugh than cry.
Anyway, MK's surname didn't even make the top 1,000 list. And indeed plus furthermore, the only family name of hers to make the list at all was her paternal grandmother's maiden name, squeaking in the final ten. No Smiths, Johnsons, Taylors or Browns littering her history.
Whenever I start thinking of names, I always remember the line from Buffy The Vampire Slayer (tv show, not the movie): "Nothing in this world names itself." Everything is identified by something someone else has placed upon it. My grandmother lobbied HARD when I was born for me to be named Helen, after her. My parents refused. Would my life have been any different had I been Helen instead of Jennifer? If I'd had an uncommon name for my generation instead of the most common one. I don't know, and really, I think the commonness of my name suits me.

NASA In Decline

2010-08-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

Dismantling, 2010

The space program used to mean something. Now it seems like all we've got is China and oil.

Beagle On The Table

2010-08-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

Bela, Table, 2010

The dog is the only one who thinks this is appropriate. I'll admit, it allows her the perfect vantage point for looking out the big dining room window, but still.

Spike

2010-08-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

caterpillar, 2010

This guy nearly got squashed in the garage. Don't know what it morphs into after the chrysalis phase.

Read and Seen

2010-08-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

I hate lists, but they're irresistible. So, without further ado, here is a list of books I read this summer and movies I watched:
BOOKS
Winter's Bone by Daniel Woodrell - It's stark, it's bleak, it's like Antigone with a less dire ending. I can't honestly say that I enjoyed the book, but it stuck with me, and the story is so powerful you can hardly believe it's being told.

Shadow Tag by Louise Erdrich - I've read Erdrich from the get-go with 'Love Medicine'. Nobody weaves a story bolstered on rich character studies quite the way that she does. In that manner 'Shadow Tag' shares a commonality with her entire oeuvre. But, then 'ST' departs from that familiar ground and forges on like a tenderfoot through an impenetrable woods. The husband and wife are at the center of the novel, like twin suns blotting out the shadows of their three children orbiting around them in a constant, contentious glare. Things do not end well.

Monkeewrench by PJ Tracy - This book had been on my shelf FOREVER, so I picked it up and read it. I have nothing kind to say about it. Not only was every single character a cliche, but they were the same cliche. It was ridiculous, and not in a fun, wild ride sort of way. More like a morass of tedium heaped on a tar pit of idiocy. Usually I won't even bother to finish a book that I despise as much as this one, but I wanted to hone my anger at the book. Read at your own peril!

MOVIES
Dead Snow - Nazi zombies reanimated in the hinterlands of Norway! Gory and gruesome, but not without a typical zombie movie sense of humor. I really enjoyed this.

Toy Story 3 - I'd read the reviews, so I was expecting something a little darker than the previous movies in the trilogy, but was still surprised and a little delighted by the character of Big Baby. Big Baby could be given her/his own movie, which would be something, I imagine, completely inappropriate for children, but fun for adults!
All of that aside, there's plenty of fun in the film, especially at Barbie and Ken's expense. And the ending is wonderful!

The Kids Are All Right - Possibly one of the most authentic films I've ever seen. At no time does the script, director, or actors shrink away from honestly portraying the complications of love, life and family. It's so genuine that it's a shock to the system, and to some lesbians in the blogosphere, a shock to the sensibilities. I'm not in that camp. If you take the movie as a whole, and examine closely the outcome from all of their actions, you see that the core family remains intact, with the children turning back to their Moms, and the Moms turning back to each other. None of this is ever done in a contrived way, but feels like a natural progression, completely organic. Movie making, and script writing, doesn't get any more pure than this. I would highly recommend this film to anyone who loves movies!

I would love to know what everyone else has read and seen this summer, if you care to share!

More Smokey

2010-08-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

Smokey 2, 2010

MK named her, btw.

Heat and Exhaustion

2010-08-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

Robin, 2010

How hot is it? This full grown robin was hopping around the yard in the sweltering heat (93F+) and finally collapsed. It did move off when I approached, but it definitely was not in good condition.

Basics

2010-08-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

Basics, 2010

I have finally succumbed to the siren song of the digital camera. I sort of miss film, and all of the technical stuff that goes with using a rangefinder or SLR, but digital is just so freakin' easy!
I know that I'll go back to film at some point, I'm not the sort that can simply abandon an old love for a new one without proper closure, but until then, I'm taking a lot of pics and re-deconstructing the CRAP out of 'em!

Other Son of Motherboard

2010-08-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

Other Son of Motherboard, 2010

Like, The Weather

2010-08-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

Asiatic Dayflower, 2010

This little blossom lives only one day, blooming early in the morning and then withering away in the afternoon.

Free Pumpkins, Sweet!

2010-08-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

Pumpkin Plant 2010

Ever wonder what happens to that Halloween pumpkin that you kick off the porch and allow to rot in the bushes?

One-Handed Frog

2010-08-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

Frog 2010

Deck Cleaning 101

2010-08-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

Deck 2010

Here I am surveying the deck before our attempts to power wash it. The deck is of indeterminate age, but two things are clear: 1. It is still sound. 2. The wood had never been stained or protected in any way.
So and therefore, before MK and I could apply the stain and wood protector, we would have to remove all of the fungi growing on it. We figured that this would easy using her dad's power washer, but the green mold/mildew/moss (who knows what that shit is?) proved to be deeply imbedded in the wood grain. That left only one solution: scrubbing the deck by hand with a stiff bristled brush and a solution I mixed up of comet cleanser, bleach, and laundry detergeant. And water (two gallons of water, 2C of bleach, 1/2C comet, 1C laundry soap). That did work, but holy cow. I don't ever want to do that again!

Fly by Night

2010-08-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh North Shore, Night Vision, 2010

Smokey

2010-08-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Smokey, 2010

The mystery has been solved! Smokey, the black squirrel we watch from our side porch everyday, is a female, and apparently, a mama to boot. I'll be honest, I'm more than a little fascinated by this eastern grey squirrel subgroup. You hardly ever see them, and when you do spot one, it's all: Look! A black squirrel!
Anyway, pretty much about the same time every afternoon, around 3pm, Smokey lopes through the neighbor's yard, crosses the street, and goes up a maple tree to munch on seed pods. Bela, MK, and I watch these goings on utterly transfixed. My ultimate goal, and evil plan, is to find Smokey's nest and spirit away one of her kits (pups?) and keep it as a pet. I have it all figured out. We'll reconstruct our entire house to make it squirrel friendly, like one giant habitrail for squirrel pleasure. We, or just I, will study the squirrel to learn the intricate minutiae of squirrel behavior. I will be like the Jane Goodall of squirrels! My squirrel work will be the subject of intense scrutiny by academics the world over! And not just psychiatrists, either!
Yes, I can see it now. We'll start off with one squirrel, but we'll soon gather more squirrels, until our home is like a hive, or hot bed, of squirrel activity. I know that after we have a few dozen squirrels MK's stance on 'no squirrels in the house' will soften and she'll see things my way. Especially after The Journal of Squirrel Inquiry publishes my as yet unknown findings.
Dream big, I always say, when I'm awake.
Seriously though, in theory, I would love to have a pet squirrel. It's the 'in practice' part that mucks things up!

Son of Motherboard

2010-08-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Son of Motherboard, 2010

Topsail

2010-08-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

Topsail Island, NC 2010

Since my father died my mother has been something of a lost soul. So, MK and I took her with us on vacation. Dear lord in heaven. I can break this week down in Scrabble game wins: MK - 4, Me - 3, Mom - 1. My mother is competitive, crazily so. If it wasn't so much fun to trounce her at Scrabble, we'd probably let her take an extra game here and there just to quiet the whining and bemoaning. But no. Or, but HELL no!
I got a lot of pics on vacation, including a terrapin roadkill, but mostly the best shots are fairly innocuous things end up being disturbing when I group them together...which is what will be posted tomorrow!

Busy Summer

2010-08-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Airman Jake and Me

The entire family traveled to Lackland Air Force Base in Texas to witness our man-child's graduation from basic training. A mother has never been more proud of the issue of her womb than I was/am!
When Jake finishes his technical training he'll be moving in with MK and me and starting college.
In other news: The new house in the north hills is fabulous! It's a lot of work, mostly yard work since the people who owned it previously let it all go wild for at least a decade, probably longer. MK and I have plenty to do there, but there are constant signs of progress to keep us encouraged.

A Tale of Stuff

2010-06-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Hummingbird Nest Eggs

In a Norway Maple tree at my mom's house there is a wee green daub of a hummingbird's nest and in it are two M&M sized eggs. MK and I stopped down on Memorial Day prior to the cookout to see the nest and hopefully see the bird sitting on the eggs. The hummingbird is pretty skittish, so you have to be quiet and not move around much and just hope she'll come in.
Finally, after waiting around the momma bird alit on the nest...Only to have my mother emerge from the house with her new clanging wind chimes. Such an unholy cacophony of clattering tubes! MK and I both shot mom a look of utter shock. Now, really, right this instant you have to bring out the wind chimes?
The bird flew off and didn't return the rest of the time we were there.
At least we got a few shots of the nest and the eggs!

Still Here

2010-05-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

Church, 2010

Yes, I've been away. Not away, away, just away from the computer and blogging. Spring brings a lot of work along with the better weather, and after a long harsh winter, it's good to be outside toiling about the yard and garden.
I also saw a down turn in my financial situation, so I've been doing a bunch of different things to earn extra cash, not the least of wish is taking on a part-time job mowing lawns. Or, more precisely, one huge ass lawn. I have mastered the fine art of using a zero-radius riding mower, or as I call it, zero tolerance since the slightest touch on the steering levels veer you wildly off course. But I'm not complaining, it's actually a pretty sweet gig and pays better than what you'd expect.
And, in preparations for my impending move in with MK this summer in our new house, I've been selling stuff I no longer want or need on ebay. I'd been toying with the idea of selling of my Buffy The Vampire Slayer collection of collectibles for quite sometime and finally took the plunge. Turns out the economy is not so bad when it comes to BtVS!
Also, I was part of a poetry reading/art exhibit last weekend and one of my prints sold, so that threw extra cash into the mix as well. Basically I'm saving up for a trip this summer to Texas to see Reichter graduate from his Air Force training, and MK and I want to stay a day or two extra to see the sites around San Antonio. It's not likely that we'll be back to TX anytime soon, so we want to make the most of it while we're there.
There in a nutshell is what I've been up to: Making money and working on prints. I like it best when those two things overlap :)

Marty On His House

2010-04-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

Oncoming Storm

It was raining this morning when I got up, which was just as well because I had a lot of indoor work to get done. In the livingroom there's an old cedar chest that I'd put a bunch of photos in back in 2005 and then promptly forgot all about them.
My former-former house sat on a hillside overlooking a hollow and them more hillsides. The thing was, when a storm was rolling in I could see it for miles before it finally hit. The eeriness of it, the stillness in the air before the wind picked up, all so tangible.

Here, Hold This

2010-04-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Here, Hold This

Junior, my sister, learned the other day that her boyfriend of 9 years has been serial cheating on her for quite some time now. Basically with any woman that he can pick up. I never liked him, but I have a very low tolerance for male bullshit, and D-man is a champion bullshitter. I don't mind an unreliable narrator, but I prefer that he not live with my sister.
Still and yet, this might not be the end of their relationship as D-man has suggested that they go to counseling. Yeah, like that's going to work. I know that couples therapy can work, and in theory should be effective most of the time, but the stumbling block that trips up most people in this instance is honesty. Can a bullshit, skank ass liar cheater be honest enough with himself and everyone else to actually get the help they need and mend their relationship with their partner? I have low hopes on this one. Low, low hopes. I don't know. I've never understood why someone stays with a cheater, or indeed why someone cheats. When I was a kid my Dad ran around with cheap barfly floozies, and the suffering this caused at home scarred us all. It's probably why I'm so harsh on cheaters. They just don't take the time to stop and think about how their actions impact all of the other people in their life.
Ah well, as I've said before, always, people are just gonna do what people are gonna do. We're idiots that way.

6 fast Years

2010-04-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

Graffiti Scream 2

In my neverending quest to remain irrelevant, if not irreverent, I would like to dedicate today to my #1 Swee-Tea, MK. Six years ago today she took a chance on a rudderless goof who seldom combs her hair and wears her sons' cast off pullovers. Somehow MK believes that she's the winner in this relationship, but I know the truth, and the score. Giving foot rubs can't tilt the scales that much in my favor.
Which reminds me of a funny story. One morning a couple of weeks ago my nephew Adam and I were visiting Dad at the nursing home, mom was there too. Mom was pretty exhausted and had been on her feet waaaay too much, making them swollen and sore. I offered to give her a foot rub and in a flash her feet were in my lap. About halfway through the first foot mom said, 'You know, there are erotic zones on your feet.' These are words no child wants to hear from a parent in this situation, or under any circumstances. I stopped what I was doing and looked at Adam, who stood there gape-mouthed and wide eyed.
Suddenly, as if a guttering candle managed one final bright flame, Mom added, 'But not MY feet, so keep rubbing them, please.' Then Adam and I burst out laughing like crazy people. Mom tried to get me to promise not to tell the story, which was just silly on her part. The evening after Dad passed and the entire family gathered at Mom's for dinner and support, I told the story. I only wish I'd taken the time to craft a diorama to illustrate the shock and horror that Adam and I both experienced. As it was he and I both played it out as best we could without mock ups or pie charts. Then, after everyone stopped laughing and teasing Mom, Mom turned to MK and asked, 'MK, you don't have any erotic zones, do you?' It's really difficult to make MK blush, but blush she did. Furiously.
Oh, Mother, that sweet, clueless woman.
Happy Anniversary, MK! Now, let's find those 'erotic zones' ;)

Full Worm Moon

2010-03-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Full Worm Moon

Such a lovely name, that Full Worm Moon. Glad that I got a peak at it last night! The photo is not mine.

RIP

2010-03-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

At 2:45am on Friday (3/26/10) morning my father finally succumbed to the cancer that had been slowly killing him for ten years. Mom called me at 2am from the nursing home and my sister and I got there just as he was being pronounced deceased. Shortly thereafter my brothers and their wives arrived.
Owing that Dad left his body to science, the nurses placed bags of ice around him and opened the window (it was gently snowing outside). A very strange experience while we comforted Mom and each other.
Every one of us had a complicated, if not conflicted, relationship with Dad. He was not an easy man to love or to be around. The biggest mark he left on me is that it is nearly impossible to say something cruel or cutting to me and have me be hurt in the least. That part of me just got toughened up as a child. Kind of like being desensitized after repeated nerve damage. I don't know.
Anyway, he's gone now, in a way. But there's a legacy that remains in each of his children. Especially my brothers, one of whom Dad took a swing at when Dad finally went into the nursing facility. If Mom's smart she won't have any of us give the eulogy at his memorial service and instead tap someone who didn't know him very well or one of his old drinking buddies.

I Am Right There

2010-03-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

Oh, Who Cares #1

Lichen, possibly edible, probably poisonous, grows on the stone wall right beneath a niche where some birds nest.

Whitey's One Trick

2010-03-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

Whitey Showing Off, 2010

It's a little freaky how cats can just lift a back leg straight up in the air so that they can groom/clean their unmentionables. I don't want to even think what would happen to civilization if humans could do this. We wouldn't have civilization. We just wouldn't.

Hey Zeus On Velvet

2010-03-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

Hideous Lamp, 2010

I really don't know why the crushed velvet lamp shade doesn't have a painting of Elvis baptizing the baby Jesus on it. The whole thing is ruined for me now because for some reason, in my brain, there is an expectation that will never be actualized. Life is so fucking hard.

Just a Ghoul, Looking For Love

2010-03-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Shervin Iranshahr, Scorched...and then torn

The other day I picked up an artist's announcement card at a coffee shop, folded it neatly and stuffed it in my pocket. Later I checked out his website online, bookmarked it, and tore up the card. The torn pieces laid on top of a box of extra staples for a week or so, until I was bored and taped some of them back together. I have zero fine motor skills, as evidenced here. Still, his work is fun, in a ghoulish way(check out his website!), and maybe this haphazard miasma of mine adds some disposable, post post modern element. Yeah, I'll stick with that!

How Do These Things Happen?

2010-03-05T09:19:00.000-08:00

Sneaking Home Naked, 2006

Let's say that you went out with your friends one evening and you got really trashed at some bar along the riverfront and then suddenly (possibly magically) you're naked, but you do have a can of black spray paint in your possession. What do you do? I suppose it makes perfect sense to take breaks from the mad dashes between bushes and stop at a cement barrier to record your zany adventure!

As Time Goes By

2010-03-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

People Who Are Now Dead, Kissing 1928

People and their hormones, it's like lemmings off a cliff. I have no idea who these people are in the picture, or what the 'S' stands for on the man's tank top. I'm willing to venture that it doesn't stand for Superman, particularly since the character hadn't been conjured yet.
I'm still rooting through my grandfather's old photographs, obviously.

Beagle Poetry

2010-03-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

This poem is from Bela's perspective. In my mind she has a thick southern Italian accent. Anyway, we were out walking Bela the other evening and just as she was getting ready to do her business a man rounded the corner walking two large dogs. Bela hates other dogs, is suspicious of them and their intentions, so of course she couldn't leave herself vulnerable by taking a dump and instead dragged us down the street post haste. The first line of the poem is just the offhand comment that I made at the time. MK noted that it sounded like the beginning of a horrible poem, so this is all her fault.

My ass is full of bitter turds
each one an homage to your face
I have feasted on the moldy cheese of your love
and now suffer for all eternity on the shores of Garbage Island

Back By Popular Demand: More Snow!

2010-02-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

It's snowing again. We're only supposed to get about 8" so it shouldn't be too bad.
This is a pic of the garage and carport. The garage is really an old stable/carriage house, finished off inside really nicely. But we don't use that space for anything other than storage, which is kind of a waste. It would make the perfect studio.
And now I am off to Pittsburgh to check on MK's place and some impending sale related stuff. Hopefully the roads aren't too bad. Wait, have I even mentioned that MK's condo sold? MK's condo sold. The home inspection went fine, except for a tiny bit of ice jam related minor water seepage in one area of the basement. A guy from a basement water seepage company is coming today to access the situation.

Riding With Bela

2010-02-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

For her own safety, and my sanity, when we travel Bela is kenneled up. Don't be fooled by how pathetic she looks here! Beagles milk their ability to look utterly forlorn and wretched for all that it's worth. She's the most shameless beggar in the kitchen, it's positively scandalous. She points that noble-domed head at me, lowers her big limpid eyes and the next thing I know I'm frying her an egg. It's like I've been hypnotized by the dog, my mind and will are that weak. "Ignore my rolls of fat, look into my eyes, I starve..."

Blast!

2010-02-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

Tired of me posting about snow/winter yet? Yeah, me too. There's nothing to be gained railing about the weather because I have no control over it. It just keeps happening, regardless of how I feel about it. I'm powerless, which just makes me want to load up the shotgun and go out and shoot the weather. That sort of behavior is frowned up in this neighborhood so instead I'm just skulking around and muttering profanities, and posting my continued disgust on the interweb.
You're welcome.

An Ode To Winter

2010-02-23T05:16:00.000-08:00

Roof Flavored Icicles

Nothing quite as numbing as the dead of winter in the dead of night. The snow's been slowly melting for days, forming ice dams in the gutters and downspouts that feed the perilous icicles that hang from, what seem to be, precarious heights. What we can reach, we knock down. Human nature dictates that we do so, in all things. The fallen ice explodes like shattering glass, catching light in impossible ways. Then, the boredom of winter continues to slouch toward entropy.

Snowzilla

2010-02-22T17:39:00.000-08:00

Godzilla Approaches The Porch

This is why I have a shotgun at the ready.

Too Clever

2010-02-22T06:51:00.000-08:00

S HIT T

This tagger is almost too clever. It took me a minute to figure it out.

Knocker

2010-02-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

Best door knocker in Pittsburgh.

Let's Do Lunch

2010-02-17T10:19:00.000-08:00

Frozen Kinzua Reservoir, 1988

Total guess at the date. That's my sister-in-law, my friend Phyllis who had the discount facelift last year, and my brother. I'm meeting Phyllis for lunch tomorrow, and since MK reminded me that this is the first time I've seen her since the plastic surgery (we mostly talk on the phone), I should be prepared. Actually, with Phyllis there is no way to be prepared. Everything has to be dealt with as it comes, in the moment, on the fly, like dodgeball.
I'm really looking forward to lunch, and finding out what's going on with Phyllis since her retirement from the planetarium. Her planetarium stories were a riot! Once, she had this co-worker who was let go, who snuck back into the planetarium and lived there for a time, making a nest for herself in one of the big storage drawers. Secruity finally stumbled upon her when she made a late night bathroom run. If only she'd purchased my Home Catheter Kit(patent pending), she could still be holed up there, feasting from the vending machines and taking sponge baths at the water cooler.

UPDATE: Phyllis looked great! She looked 20 yrs younger, which was what she wanted, so I'm happy for her. I would never choose to have elective cosmetic surgery, but I respect her decision in this matter.
One thing that I wasn't prepared for though: Phyllis has taken to wearing a wig. A wig that is not at all like her natural hair. I guess she just wants to do herself over.

The Man

2010-02-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

Jeff, Lake Erie, 1928

My mother's father, back in the day.

Battle of Lake Erie

2010-02-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

Brig Niagara, 1928

Just going through some of my grandfather's old photographs. He was something, that one.

Oakmont, Here We Come!

2010-02-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

Oakmont Country Club

A few years ago, while on vacation in a cabin in the woods with limited television reception originating out of Buffalo, NY recieved by a rooftop antenna, MK and I watched the LPGA US Open. To offer full disclosure, I do not golf and almost never watch it on tv. But on this particular afternoon I left it on as sort of background noise. Soon, we were glued to the action, despite ourselves. Ever since then, we follow the US Women's Open, but only that particular event. Odd, isn't it? But for us it's synonymous with relaxing and vacation. Even edge of your seat action is more cathartic than coronary.
The 2010 LPGA US Open is going to be held at Oakmont Country Club, outside of Pittsburgh. For Valentine's Day MK procured for me, and herself, any-day passes so that we can see in person all that specialness that is women's golf! MK's a fan of Lorena Ochoa, ranked #4 in the world but a former #1 player. I'm partial to Cristie Kerr, for no other reason than she looks a lot like my sci-fi crush, Gillian Anderson/Special Agent Dana Scully. Not that Kerr is any slouch, she finished 2009 ranked #3 and she won the US Open in 2007.
There are a lot of great players on the tour that I am not familiar with at all, but in the months leading up to the July tournament I intend to get myself acclimated with who's who so that I'm not standing there like some nose picking idiot in the gallery. There's always the reisk that I'll be that person anyway, but I'm going to do my best to make sure that I'm not!

The Observer

2010-02-15T06:01:00.000-08:00

Unbeknownst to the penguin, it is being hunted by the stealthy polar bear. The one-eyed duck is merely an observer to this brutal dance.

Bela Turns 2

2010-02-12T05:47:00.000-08:00

Bela and Reichter

Tomorrow is Bela's second birthday! When we first got her at the end of March in 2008 she was endearing, adorable, and a holy terror. She was immediately nicknamed 'Hurricane' for how quickly she could sweep into a room and destroy everything in her path with her flying needle teeth of fury. She's toned down her wrathful storm status since then, becoming Tropical Depression Bela. The most accurate nickname she's got is Nebbie. She nebs into everything, just in case there's something that might be broadly construed as edible involved. Like that time she jumped up on a chair and got a hold of a magic marker off the desk. She ate it, and then pooped purple for two days. That made poop patrol exciting for me!
Anyway...
Happy Birthday, Bela! You complete our family.

Crazy From the Snow

2010-02-11T11:09:00.000-08:00

Master Paddler

I can't wait to get back out on the lake again! I'll try not to fall in this time when getting in the kayak.

Of Inertia and Beagles

2010-02-11T10:05:00.000-08:00

MK and Bela

Dangers of Snow Removal

2010-02-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

Still and yet, snow

Always, always, always, always, people are just gonna do what people are gonna do. This morning I was having my coffee, reading the newspaper online like I do every morning when a froggy voice called out from a bedroom down the hall.
"What time is it?" Bela had just climbed onto the bed with Cree.
"Seven, go back to sleep." He works evenings and doesn't get home until ten and then doesn't usually go to bed until around one.
"How much more snow did we get?"
"Not that much." This is a lie. I could barely dig out Bela's tie-out this morning because I couldn't find it, the snow was so deep, again.
"If that guy comes with the snow blower to do our sidewalk go out and stop him."
Now, I should explain something about one of Cree's major obsessive compulsions. No one, and I mean no one, is allowed to clear snow from our sidewalk but him. Once the neighbor came by with the snowblower doing the entire block and Cree took the shovel and threw snow back on our sidewalk so that he could then clear it off, all the while cursing. I combed my hair and washed my face, expecting the police to arrive any second. They never came.
"Sure honey, don't worry about it, you just go back to sleep."
About half an hour later, the far off whine of a snow blower could barely be detected. In an instant Cree was up and racing outside in what looked like a skintight black unitard (really just a combo of a black long sleeve Under Armor shirt and a black footy long underwear garment that defies all labeling if not broad description). He threw on boots and grabbed the shovel. He looked like a crazed snow elf, madly shoveling, but at least he wasn't cursing.
A few minutes later he was back in the house and crawling back in bed with the dog.
I called MK and told her about his dash to clear snow before the kind neighbor could get here with his blasted machine. She chuckled. I reminded her of the time years ago when one morning the church van showed up at the house to pick the boys up for vacation bible school (yes, I forced them to learn religion so that they would fully understand what they would reject oneday) and Cree wasn't dressed yet, so I told him to throw something on and tell the driver to wait a minute. He put on a cape, part of an old halloween costume get up, and went out in his underwear. So, this outfit was better than that outfit, as far as having more skin covered.
This is why that stupid Super Bowl ad with the pantless guys marching over the moors or wherever was pretty darn accurate, if still stupid.
Ah well, for the time being I'm just enjoying the quiet, while it lasts.

The Window Is A Door

2010-02-09T06:30:00.000-08:00

Blizzard Nebula

I think this shot is a result of the stuff you get when you first load film into the camera and it self advances. I kind of like it. That little smear of color on the right looks like a rocket ship, the window seems to be free floating in outer space, and the snow flakes look like planets. Planets inhabited by beings who want to destroy us!
The 'nebula' part is probably smoke from my cigarette.

Black and Tan Contrast With Infinite White

2010-02-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

Bela, Snow 2010

This was taken, by MK, about four hours before it quit snowing entirely. Bela was thrilled at first to bound through the heavy snow fall, but then became alarmed because it didn't end.
Foolish, foolish beagle.

When Snow Attacks!

2010-02-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

Blizzard 2010

My Jeep is parked on the other side of the tree that fell, fortunately completely missing it. The Weather-Attacker Storm Team predicted 4-8 inches of snow. We got two feet. So, MK and I spent the better part of Saturday and Sunday shoveling snow, and aiding some misguided college kids driving around in cars who became stuck right in front of our condo. Early Saturday evening there was a carload of Duquesne students drinking beer and smoking pot trying to push an Accord up the unplowed street. I took them out a shovel and suggested that they back down 13th Street to the main drag. Later we got more Duquesne students, this time in some kind of Toyota, again stuck, but this time they at least had shovels. Same result: Backing down 13th St.
This went on all Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.
Eh, when I was young we ventured out too no matter the weather, so for them I'm sure it was all in fun.
Next up: More snow starting tomorrow! Wee! The side roads aren't cleared yet, so it'll be fun to see how bad things can get! I've got plenty of food and toilet paper...

Cabin Fever, Part 2

2010-02-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

Bee Balm

Soon the snow, she will be falling from the sky and we will once again be holed up in our house. I for one am really looking forward to summer. It's the only thing that keeps a person sane over the winter. MK and I were out hiking one day last year and came across bee balm. Unless something is very common, I don't know what it is off the top of my head, in which case I take a picture and identify it later. As I did here!

Title

2010-02-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

Pennsylvania Memorial, Gettysburg, PA

I've mentioned before that my father is currently dying of lung cancer. This dying thing, it's nasty business. The boys and I went to visit him yesterday. When we arrived my mom wasn't there and dad was slumped over in a chair at the kitchen table. Reichter thought he was dead, actually, so did I. But, he wasn't. And he said the same thing he always says to me whenever I first see him, "Jennifer, you know that I love you, right?" And I say, "Yes, Dad, and I love you too." We have always had such a difficult relationship, acrimonious, sometimes downright hostile. But now he's almost dead and I have to find whatever resolution someone finds in these things.
Earlier today I talked to my sister, Junior, about all of this and she's angry that Dad isn't going to have a funeral, because he's donating his body to science, and she doesn't want to go to a memorial service for him that has no body in a casket. She also doesn't want to go and see Dad before, after he's dead, UPMC comes and picks him up. Me? I'm going to go and see him. Oddly, he told me that he wants me too. I don't know what he's said to my brothers. But I'm going, and taking pictures. I take pictures of everything, and this is part of everything.
If he and I had been completely different people, then maybe we would have been able to transcend our natures, but we aren't, and we can't. He's my father, and he made my life hell when I was a kid. Now, I have to end things with him in a way that I can live with.

New River Gorge

2010-02-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

New River Gorge Bridge, WV

I haven't been down to West Virginia in a couple of years, but since we're going to North Carolina this summer on vacation, we'll be passing through the wild and wonderful Mountaineer state. On our way back I'll make a point of stopping at the New River Gorge again, it's just so striking!
Vacation plans have become a bit dramatic since we're going with MK's entire family. The Dew's have a saying, "Someone has got to make an executive decision!" And then there's panic. Not arm waving, oh-dear!, panic, just a middling decision is then thrust upon us. That's how we end up eating skinless chicken breast roasted to dustbowl perfection for so many family dinners. Right now the panic is over which cottages to rent. We need two cottages because we're taking Bela and one of MK's niece's is constitutionally weak and has allergies. It's this big thing, and very convoluted, and honestly, I quit paying attention. I am a middle-aged woman! My brain only has so much free space remaining and I want it all to be taken up by commercial jingles (five, five dollar footlong), figuring out the hidden meaning in "Fringe", and solving the Lindberg baby case.

Suffering From Monsterism, The Study Of

2010-02-01T14:18:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I sit all day at the computer looking up arcane science stuff. I find out some of the most fascinating things! Like how there really is the study of monsterism, called, Greekly enough, Teratology. Technically it's the study of birth defects, but that doesn't really cover the full rage since it extends far beyond humans to include all or our fellow mammals, animals, insects, even into the plant realm as well. So, I like the most literal translation best. It just fits.
I think we're doomed, by the way. I know, I know, all the time people are shouting, THE END IS NEAR! It hardly bears any meaning anymore. The basis of my belief rests solely on how truly fucking polluted the planet is. If I were a Christian and I worked for say, Monsanto, I might just insist that this is all God's Will. That the slogan, 'Better Living Through Chemistry' is really a prayer. And why not? The toxic red bloom that flourishes off the Gulf Coast is beautiful and deadly, just like God's wrath. And we don't know that it's a bad thing. Depleting the oceans of oxygen could just be God's way of choking some love into them, like Homer throttling Bart on The Simpsons. Right?
Oh my. Back to scaring the bejesus out of myself...

Why 94% of Oprah Fans Hate Leno

2010-01-29T06:17:00.001-08:00

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in five or six years, something I'm not proud of: I watched Oprah. I have nothing against Oprah, I've just had enough. That happens sometimes with people. You get a big dose of them for awhile and then you just don't want them anymore. Like Halloween candy. You gorge yourself on it, vomit, and then can't look at candy for quite some time. Oprah's like candy vomit to me.
But yesterday she had on Jay Leno, a person I also don't watch on the television. I thought, this is the perfect storm of two humans I don't care at all about talking about an issue (Conan, the Tonight Show, NBC, backstabbing) that became a train wreck. I have been watching the train wreck. How could I not? It played out in slo-motion, crashing over the course of weeks from the time Leno's 10pm show got axed by NBC, to NBC making every single disastrous decision on how to make the train wreck worse (set it on fire! plunge it down a ravine! fill it with red-headed orphans who want more pudding!).
As someone who follows pop culture solely because I love the diversion from reality, the Conan-Leno (and by extension, Letterman, Ferguson, and Kimmel) power struggle/feud/fight over The Tonight Show desk was completely unprecedented. Even when Leno stole the show from Letterman back in the early 90s, the viewing public was only aware of some behind the scenes deal making and back stabbing. We weren't privy to the actual demonic butterflies conjured by Leno to beat their wings into plough shares, that Leno then forged into daggers to slay his enemies. Then, a lot was left up to speculation.
But, NOW, everything has played out right before our very eyes. And Oprah wants in on all of the attention. So, she went on Leno's set out in LA, and interviewed him. Leno looked like a man defeated. His eyes were puffy and saggy, his mouth downturned, even when he attempted to make one of his patently unfunny quips, he couldn't muster a smirk. Is it because in this battle the public, and a lot of celebrities, have chosen sides? And they chose team Conan? Oprah was really at a lose as to why a majority of respondents on her website (94%) were backing Conan. Doesn't America love the safe, unfunny humor dished up by Leno? His softball style of interviewing guests? Has America grown weary of bland pablum and want some hot sauce tossed on their pablum?
Despite Oprah, and Leno, claiming that the American public just doesn't understand how television works, the bigger issue that these two don't understand is that the viewing public needs to have a certain perception about the people were tuning in to watch. One thing is trust. Trust isn't everything, but it is something. Which means that we demand a honest quality. Take Ellen Degeneres for example. Her talk show is wildly popular across all demographics, young, old, gay, straight, republican, democrat, independent, religious, nonreligious...people like her, and trust her. You know why? Because she's honest about who she is. At this point in Leno's career he no longer comes off as the semi-funny (I'm being kind) doofy class clown you went to school with. His likability has been pummeled, and he comes off as a meglomaniacal bully. Oprah, giving another, more watched, pulpit for him to whine and bully from makes her come off as a detattatched from reality uber rich...fool, I guess, is the word I'm looking for.
Anyway, that's my take on the whole debacle. I don't expect Leno to be #1 again on The Tonight Show, and I hope that Conan gets another gig. As for me, I watch Letterman. Sure, he's an asshat, but he's never tried to hide that from us, has he?

Planning Ahead

2010-01-28T11:36:00.000-08:00

Day Lilies, Water

It's snowing, we're holed up inside in the dead of winter, and I am thinking thoughts of summer. I've signed MK and I up for Earth Trek, where we get to be Citizen Scientists! Or something resembling brainy people. Mostly we're going to roam around looking for garlic mustard, an invasive xeno species that some people want to get rid of and others want to eat. I'm in the latter group...the plant is quite delicious when sauteed, braised, or even lightly grilled with meat.
This should be fun! Plus, I get to do science! And eat!

Unfriend

2010-01-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, 2005

The ease of communication on the internet balances precariously on a fulcrum of asshattery. Case in point: Facebook. I have a bunch of old high school people who have friended me on there, and despite the fact that I don't go to reunions and some of these people I haven't seen or spoken to since June of 1980, it seems rude to ignore their friend request, or worse and ruder yet, unfriend them once they reveal themselves to be fundamentalist Christians. I really don't have any tolerance at all for religious crazies, especially when they want to see anyone who doesn't agree with them destroyed. Preferrably smited, smoted?, by God, but if man has to do the smiting in the name of God, that's fine too. It's insane, to my mind, but to their mind, it's righteous and what is expected of them. They are on the frontlines of God's Holy Army (one woman actually said this) taking back our country for the 'real' Americans.
Of course they all adore Sarah Palin, which is perfect backwards troll logic. I would expect nothing less than total devotion to Palin and her meandering rhetoric of half truths, outright lies, and made up shit.
Anyway, my solution, if I have one, is that I'm going to have to purge some people from my friend list, because there are those on facebook who are actual friends, and I like being connected with them. These other clowns...I should just mock them, but what with the menopause and all, they set me off on Angry Street instead of merely careenly wildly down Make Fun Boulevard.
The one positive thing from reconnecting with old school mates is that a couple of them have turned out to be really cool people, with interesting lives and thoughtful insights.

It's a Bird

2010-01-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Raptor, Steeple, Desanctified Church

I haven't gotten a good enough shot yet to figure out what sort of bird of prey hangs out atop the former St. Michael of the Archangels Church steeple. She perches up there, and then takes to the skies, soaring around, hunting, presumably.
It's so difficult to even a get a decent pic of her because of the distance. I got this one with MK's digital camera, but if I'd had Reichter's digital, with the extra telephoto lens, well, THEN maybe I'd have some luck. In fact, that's exactly what I'm going to do this weekend. Borrow his camera and hope the bird shows up and sits pretty for me.

Up, Then Down

2010-01-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

18th Street Steps, Pittsburgh, 1/23/10

All over Pittsburgh there are steps that lead from the flats to the slopes. Easier on the way down than the way up, for sure.

Storybook Ending

2010-01-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

Storybook Wolf by Jose Luis Rodriguez

Word from Britain is that the Natural History Museum Wildlife Photographer of the Year has been stripped of his prize for using a tame animal model and staging this photo. The rules clearly state that no animal models can be used and everything has to be authentic and, well, wild. It's the whole point of the 'wild' in the life.
Rodriguez's fraud was brought to light by his fellow Spanish photographers who alerted the judges. Doesn't sound like he's a very popular guy with his countrymen and colleagues, does it? For his part Rodriguez is claiming that the photo is genuine. The judges reconvened to review the evidence against him and decided otherwise, withdrawing his award.

Hark, A Vagrant

2010-01-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

A few months ago a friend turned me on to the comic website, Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton. I have some things I would like to say about this hilarious island of razor sharp insight and frivolity adrift in the vast sea of being and nothingness of the interwebs. I have many things, actually, that I would like to say, but instead let me spare you my pompacity and simply urge you to click on the above link and check out the fun! It really is great. I turly love it.

I Offend

2010-01-19T13:24:00.000-08:00

Mechanical, Is It A Bee?

Today I finally had the opportunity to stop and pick up the new Buffy comic (#31). I'm out in Cranberry fairly often, but the comic book store keeps the mercurial hours of a ghoul, so when I'm there, they aren't.
Wait! That proves I'm not a ghoul! Finally, concrete empirical proof that I am indeed a nonghoul. What a relief!
Anyway, the shop opens at noon on Tuesdays, and it was 12:15pm, so I figured that with a fifteen minute buffer they would have to be open. Even though the place was darkish and the CLOSED sign was still in the window (this isn't a big deal, they never flip the sign to OPEN), I went up and tried the door because hey, they had to be open by now, right? The door was unlocked, but once I was inside it was apparent that only the backroom lights were on. I tentatively shouted out 'Hello', which was answered with, 'I'll be open in one minute.'
I waited inside the door and was joined by two men who came in right after me.
A few moments later the lights all went up and the woman emerged from the backroom, and boy, was she pissed off. She didn't say a peep to the guys, but told me that from now on I was not to enter the store if she wasn't ready to be open. I explained that it was long after opening time, and the door was unlocked, and I just waited inside the door for her to come out of the back. She shot such a look of contempt at me and said that she'd been late to work because she was in an accident that morning and then repeated her original message that I was not in the future to ever, EVER come in the store if she wasn't ready to open. i didn't say anything more at this point, because, what's the point?
This is not the first run in I've had with this woman. In fact, every time I go in New Dimension Comics she goes out of her way to make an ass out of herself. Those rare times I go in there and have to deal with a guy I have no problems, so what is the deal with this woman? Is it me? Do I inspire hostility in comic nerd fangirls that I'm completely unaware of?
Oh who knows, but I think I'm going to take my business solely over to Phantom of the Attic Comic Book Store.

Frozen In Time, and Pittsburgh

2010-01-18T18:47:00.000-08:00

Really cool guy.

Early Bird Fossil

2010-01-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

Early Bird Fossil

MK and I went to the Carnegie Museum of Natural History on Sunday and fun was had by all! Or just both of us. I've noticed that security pays less attention to me now with my camera since everyone is assumed to have a camera phone and I'm at least being obvious about my shutterbuggery.
But, before our jaunt to the museum we ate at Lulu's Noodles, an Asian noodle joint about a block away, situated between Pitt and CMU. I got the ramen shittake miso soup, and let me tell you, it was magnificent! Delicious, just perfect. Oh, how I love noodles. My German great grandmother used to call me 'dough belly', not because I was fat, but because all I would eat when I was a kid was pasta. Grandma Householder was a wonderful woman, cooking me macaroni, walking around with M&Ms in the pockets of her apron. She sure knew how to charm a kid! Of course when she died the image of her dead body in the coffin gave me nightmares for years, but I come from people who display their dead, so I was going to be traumatized at some time or other.

Snow

2010-01-08T14:23:00.000-08:00

Snow-laden berries, dangling...and there's a really bad joke in there somewhere, along with a metaphor that frightens me.

Like, The Weather, Dammit

2010-01-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

When it snows, it dumps. Currently we're at 7.5 inches, with more to come. MK's flight to North Carolina for her uncle's funeral was cancelled, so, sadly, she'll be missing that.
I'm slogging around in my slightly oversized felt pack boots, trying to ignore the weather, running errands, stocking up on bread and toilet paper.

Undeveloped Country of Horses

2010-01-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

I was cleaning out my sock drawer when I found an undeveloped roll of film therein. Probably I shot the roll, took it out of the camera, and left it sitting on the dresser for awhile, and then in a fit of tidying up, threw it in the drawer, where it languished for three and half long years. Over the weekend MK and I took it down to be turned into pictures.
Nothing Earth shattering on the roll, but I do like me some horses!

X Mass

2009-12-28T12:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over! We endured another year of too much family, too much drink, and too much food and lived to complain about it. But I'm not going to complain because all things being inequal, it wasn't that bad. MK and I made the kids happy, the dog marginally happy, and each other happy with the threat of more happiness for all.
If I could only stop smoking and thereby sink myself into an eternal morass of withdrawl, then I might have a complaint worth relating.

Water Damage

2009-12-15T07:13:00.000-08:00

Sixth Street

I dropped a disposable camera, on purpose, into a pan of salt water. Interesting, but I don't think that I'll be doing that again.

Charge

2009-12-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

I Get a Charge Out of You, Thanksgiving, 2009

Issues of, or With, My Womb

2009-11-23T15:46:00.000-08:00

Reichter, MK, Cree Summer 2007

My one kid has a few jealousy issued with MK. Namely, he's jealous of the time I spend with her. We've thwarted him, successfully, to an extent, by including him on our weekends together. Thankfully he was bored because let's face it, we're middle-aged women who are either making wine, shopping for wine, or drinking wine. It's what we do. I haven't lived an interesting life since 1998. Don't ask me what made that year interesting because I sold that journal on ebay and have signed a gag order on those stories. Suffice it to say that I drooled for three months, but then my saliva glands adjusted.

OBX

2009-11-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I took the kids and my mom to the Outer Banks in North Carolina for vacation. Here they are standing on one of the dunes in Kitty Hawk, very near where the Wright brothers first went aloft.
Everyone in this picture has experienced a height change since this was taken. Two have gotten taller and one has shrunk. Still, this is the pic that I have on the front of my personal recipe book. I don't know why, exactly, it's not like I cooked the whole time were gone. It just makes me feel good, I suppose.

On Break

2009-11-17T18:26:00.000-08:00

I'm going to have to take a break from blogging because my Dad's cancer is pretty bad right now and I have to be available for both him and Mom.
I probably won't be totally absent, but more sporadic.

Best Food City

2009-11-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Montreal #1

My favorite Canadian city is easily Montreal. It's like a wee bit of Europe wed itself to the New World and didn't somehow totally fuck it up. Also, the best food I've eaten anywhere in the world (I'm looking at you Paris and New York) was in Montreal. Just amazing. Amazing! At one restuarant, some side walk bistro, I ordered the ravioli stuffed with rabbit and drizzled with a feta cheese sauce, and I about died when the taste registered. Probably the best single dish I've ever had in my life. The accompanying house wine was atrocious, but I tipped it back anyway.
MK and I have got to go to Montreal one of these days. I haven't been there for a decade and I'd like to refresh the experience in my mind and on my palate again.

Rock City

2009-11-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Rock City, Olean, NY

This tourist trap is one of my favorite places. Located between Jamestown, NY and nowhere, it's a massive sandstone formation rising starkly from the farm fields and meadows that surround it. Loverly!

da 'burgh

2009-11-10T12:35:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Downtown Pittsburgh

A Family Affair And Vodka

2009-11-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

This morning Junior called bright and early to make sure that she got in on the ground floor of my services. Namely, helping her with her grandchildren. The conversation went like this:
Junior: What are you doing today? I mean, hello.
Me: I have a bunch of shit I have ship out and I have to call Debbie (MK's sister, the one I don't hate).
Junior: Good, then you can come down here and run interference for me with Tristan (her two year old grandson who tries to climb in bed with the baby when she's sleeping).
Me: OK
Junior: Don't come too early, though. The liquor store doesn't open until 11.
Me: Am I sensing that you want me to pick something up for you?
Junior: Vodka, please.
Me: Ah yes, the opiate of the housewife.
Junior: Hey! I work full-time and these kids aren't mine.
Me: Regardless, my observation stands.

So, I called Debbie, went to the liquor store, the post office, and the Valero station to get cigarettes, then I drove down 588 to Junior's house. It sounds more interesting than it was, but anyway, Debbie had given me a juicy earful of what is going on in her neck of the woods, and I was anxious to discuss all of the revelations with Junior. An endeavor, as it turns out, that was a complete systems failure because, apparently, if a topic is not directly related to Junior, then she has almost no interest in it. I would say that I got a bit peeved, but she makes really good coffee and she was baking double chocolate cookies and whipping up that delicious cream icing that she puts on top of them. AND making meatballs! All with a baby on her hip! I got to have a meatball hoagie for lunch and some cookies for dessert, so I was completely unthwarted on one level while thwarted on another, seemingly lesser level.
After awhile I came home. And that brings us to a proper closure.

Inclined To Say

2009-11-08T17:08:00.000-08:00

Despite living around Pittsburgh nearly my whole life, I've never taken the incline. This weekend MK and I rode up the Duquesne Incline and looked down upon the city. It was a beautiful day, well beyond Indian Summer. But I must say, that if are freaked out by heights, keep your eyes closed.

Coffee On The Outside

2009-11-05T11:34:00.001-08:00

Really cool mural on the side of the Bee Hive, the only decent coffee house on the south side of Pittsburgh. Right across the street from Starbucks. I used to go to the Bee Hive pretty much every Saturday and Sunday morning. MK would be working on lesson plans or trotting off to church, and I'd hole up with the newspaper and a big cup o' joe at the Bee Hive. But then, in a fit of fiscal responsibility, I gave up coffee on the outside. Now I drink instant, at home.

Smoking

2009-11-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

This is my mother smoking her last cigarette, spring 1989. She never was much of a smoker, having one every morning with her coffee and that was it. I could never be that kind of smoker. I'd smoke in my sleep if I wouldn't burn the house down. Sleep smoking, I'm half surprised it's not one of the side effects of taking Ambien, not that I take Ambien. But still surprised.

Such Is Life

2009-11-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

Some headstones are just creepier than others. Visually, I mean. Of course they can also have a creep factor by what's written on them. My mother one time came home from a visit to Aunt Clyta in Clarksburg, West Virginia with a rant that she'd copied down from a headstone in a cemetery there. I've long since lost the rant, but if memory serves it started off with a laundry list of ills done to this woman by her family, her church, and the community as a whole. The level of bile and bitterness was nothing short of astounding. She didn't want to let go of it, even in death. Such is life, I guess.

Pitt Football

2009-11-03T07:07:00.000-08:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The only thing better than cheap is free! MK just called and said that a co-worker offered her four free tickets to the Pitt-Syracuse game this Saturday, and should she take them? I was like, hell yeah! Junior's boyfriend, D-Man, graduated from Pitt (something of a miracle in itself), so we can give the extra two tickets to them. I can see it now; kick-off is at noon so that means the tailgating will commence at 9am. I think I'll skip that part of the festivities though because it'll just make focusing the camera that much harder. A woman has got to know her limitations.
The weather forecast for Saturday so far looks sunny and 53F, perfect football weather. This should be great! I wonder how it will all go terribly wrong...

Urgent Update!
It didn't take long to find out what could go terribly wrong. While MK took the time to call and ask me if I wanted to go to the game, someone else scarfed up the tickets, which, btw, apparently were not free, just cheap. The cheap part took the shine off the free part and now I'm back to being ambivalent toward Pitt football.

Death and the Engineer

2009-11-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

MK and I took the dog and walked through Union Dale Cemetery on Sunday. It was a gorgeous fall day. The sky an infinite blue and the air as crisp as a freshly laundered sheet. The cemetery sits atop a hill overlooking the northwestern part of the city and is spread out on both sides of Brighton Road on 96 acres. Not long after we arrived, as we aimlessly wandered around, we kicked up two deer, which led to Bela bawling like the good beagle that she is. She cast a look back at us that said, 'Shoot it! Shoot it!' But neither of us could get our cameras up in time. I really hate to disappoint the dog, but if not me, then who will teach her the harsh lesson that people often fail you.
Anyway, there's a natural poignancy to a cemetery. Whether it's the graves of young children, or like poor Hugh here, those working dangerous jobs and killed by same. He left behind a wife, who survived him by decades and never remarried. We came across quite a few of those sorts of graves; the men dying young the women outlasting them even into the next century and not remarrying. I wonder why, though I suspect that the reasons are different in every instance.

Away I Go!

2009-10-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

Ghost Town Parlor Tricks

The above is one of the pics on a sample CD rom of my work submitted in a fellowship application. And now I am off to hand deliver everything.
I'm nervous, but hopeful.

Reasons To Carry a Camera

2009-10-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

There are any number of reasons to carry a camera along with you on seemingly innocuous little jaunts out into the world. Last Saturday MK and were out walking the beagle on the River Walk, like we do just about everyday. I got a simple little snap shot of the two of them with an abundance of bright yellow rioting all around. O Glory The Day!
But further up the path there was this:

That's right, the pelt of a raccoon that someone, for whatever reason, had skinned and left spread out on a rock. I've seen raw pelts before, just not in the city. Of course MK and I started wildly speculating on why someone would do this. The most obvious answer is food, but raccoon tastes similar to bear, which is more than just 'gamey'. Unless you were half starved you wouldn't choose to eat raccoon. Unless you were half starved and not in your right mind, then a raccoon might seem like the way to go.
Whatever the truth is, whoever did this was pretty adept with a knife (which makes the hungry and crazy scenario all the more frightening). Skinning an animal isn't rocket science, but it's not slicing through warm butter either. I just wonder if there was ghoulish intent here to mortify people, or abuse that animal in some way, especially with Halloween coming up.
I dunno. It was weird, and of course, I got pictures.

Side of Pickle

2009-10-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

With fifty fast approaching, I sometimes think about what it means to get older. Fortunately I've got something of an arrested development, so in my head I'm still 17 or something somewhere thereabouts. Carefree, running through fields of daisies...
Yet back on planet Earth, invariably these things crop up where I can't do what I was once able to do without thinking or batting an eye. Case in point; opening jars. This morning I was making breakfast and I wanted a pickle to go a long with my chipped ham sandwich and lentil soup. Do you think I could get the damn lid off that jar? I was banging the side of the lid with the can opener and then twisting at that thing until I was prostrate on the floor with grief. Finally I had to wake one of the kids up to open it for me. All for a pickle! But, the pickle makes the sandwich!!! Without a pickle I may as well eat oatmeal.
Which now has me wondering, what's going to go next? I won't be able bend over and clip my own toe nails? That actually is a fear of mine, which is a subset of podophobia. I don't have a specific foot phobia, but long toe nails make me cringe. Just thinking about it now has me grimacing. I can't even look at Junior's boyfriend's feet when he's in flip flops because I know that his toe nails are like talons, extending far beyond the tip of the nail bed like Freddie Krueger's razor glove.
Ah well. Aging is better than the alternative, and if it comes to it, maybe I'll be able to somehow trick MK into trimming my nails for me.

Gift One

2009-10-26T14:39:00.000-07:00

Rape of the Sabine Women

This is the print that my sister asked for in 11x16, matted and framed, for Christmas. Hopefully she likes it that big and hanging in her livingroom. At least the gold tones will blend well with her Steelers decor.
If you too would like a print of this print, just give me a heads up and some petty cash, and I'll work up something suitable! A lone print in 8x10 format including shipping could be yours for only 24.95!
Suddenly I feel a little dirty, but also cheap, which isn't the same thing ;)

Big Wheel-A-Keep On Turnin'

2009-10-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

Christmas is less than two months off so I've been fishing in my brain for gift ideas, ferreting out the gems from the craptastic. So far I've got my sister taken care of and one of MK's sisters, the one I like. Every year, believe it or not, my parents just want a large gift card to Pizza Hut. Not over sized, just worth a lot. Basically worth twice whatever they're going to spend on you. In this case the 'you' being me. Just be glad that the 'you' isn't you. It could be, you know. Pre-gestation our ethereal little selves spin a roulette wheel and whatever uterus the little ball lands in, that's where we set up camp and get puny brains that forget everything noncorporeal about existence and the grand scheme of things. It's why the philosophical ramblings centered around, 'Who are we? What does it all mean?' are really just people having a lapse when they need a relapse.
Anyway, this year MK and I have decided that instead of spending oodles of coin on each other on gifts, we're going to keep it to just a couple of neccessities and then save up money for when we move. Yes, the house hunting has gotten serious. MK's condo is ready to go on the market, freshly painted and new flooring throughout. We went to an open house yesterday in North Hills Heights, or wherever it was in the North Hills, and as we drove down the winding streets I said, We can't afford to live in this neighborhood! The houses were old, well kept, gorgeously landscaped...and then we came up the house we were there to tour. The ugliest house in the neighborhood, by FAR, and can someone tell me why anyone would paint brick? The original red brick was painted industrial gray. I had low hopes at this point and was not disappointed in my disappointment. The interior had 'old lady' stamped all over it, from the wallpaper AND borders, to the dusty rose plush carpeting covering the hard wood floors over the entire first floor. The deep earth tone loving ghoul living inside of me died a little extry that day. When I asked the realtor why the old widow had moved out I'd expected her to say that her mummified corpse had been found by a meter reader hanging in the basement utility room. But no, just down sizing, which I don't believe, at all. This place had the stink of 'quick sale by the estate' , it wasn't even particularly clean! The first thing I noticed in the master bath was a black ring in the toilet bowl which prompted the observation thought; this place has been empty awhile.
Well, the search continues! Only now we're seriously searching, and if I repeat it enough times, then it'll sink in, I guess.
I still have no idea what to get the kids for Christmas. I think Cree wants a didgeridoo or a theremin...with Reichter, who knows? Probably cash.

Altoona Sandwich

2009-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Pirates in Red Shirt Uniforms

Baseball season is finally winding down completely, and I've been following the Phillies because let's face the harsh truth that the Pirates are terrible. Worse even than terrible. 17 years of losing seasons, MK and I only go to a game when we get free tickets, and sometimes not even then. This last season we traded away our entire team for a cadre of prospects, except for our catcher, Donut, and that's only because he was on the DL during the purge and they couldn't get rid of him. I kind of like Donut, so I'm glad that we still have him, while at the same time wonder how long the Pirates will keep him.
Someday in the far off distant future, in a year or two, people who give a damn will be able to pin point the exact instant when the Pirates front office dismantled a perfectly submediocre team and replaced it with a roster that wouldn't pass muster as a Double A farm club in Altoona.

Precious Awkward Moments

2009-10-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

One evening over this past summer MK, for reasons known only to her, mentioned to her oldest sister that we had broken the bed, and that I had repaired it.
Anyone who has ever broken a bed knows how this usually happens; during sexy times. The last thing MK or anyone in her family ever, EVER talks about are sexy times.
There was an uncomfortable silence, an all consuming void of sound in which the intimate congress gaffe finally hit home with MK and she attempted to recover by saying that we were innocently sitting on the bed when it happened. I was blushing furiously because my face seems to think that this is an effective defense mechanism. Stupid face.
More uncomfortable silence followed, because really, what is there to say? MK's sister is something of, I don't know...what is the word? Uncarnel. There.
My mind was whirring, drastically trying to glom onto something that I could say to clarify things and wrap them up all at the same time. Of course, if you're going to offer up another lie, and not even a good one at that, you may as well let the original one continue to simmer in the vacuum outside space. But I forged on, saying that the bed broke when I reached across to get a pen off the nightstand on MK's side to do the crossword puzzle. By now my face was the brilliant shade of red that a baboon's nether regions attains when in estrus.
The part of my brain that mercifully misremembers embarassing moments is now telling me that we moved on from this awkwardness and everyone had a jolly time, never to mention the broken bed again. For all I know the episode has been scoured from all of our memories, wiped clean, and quite possibly never even happened in the first place!

Trains

2009-10-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

Reminds one and me of Petticoat Junction, what with the water tower and all. I saw every episode of that show and I never warmed to Uncle Joe. There's was something disturbing about him to my child's mind. Like the sort of man that your mother warns you against.

My Kind of Diner

2009-10-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

I just love, love, LOVE little plastic towns with fake people who are real about being faux. I would so eat at Frank's Diner if I could just shrink and plastify myself.

Visiting German

2009-10-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

MK and The German in front of Phipps Consrvatory & Botanical Gardens, October 16, 2009

Last week MK hosted a visiting German High School teacher, Elke. We had a wonderful time and I will say no more lest I cause an international incident.

Babysitting

2009-10-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Junior called me last night for several reasons, not the least of which was to ask me what's wrong with the Steelers so far this year. She and D-Man have season tickets. They're totally obsessed. Their livingroom has a black and gold color scheme that she somehow makes work. Maybe it's the medieval weaponry peppered around the STEELER COUNTRY banner. I dunno. I'm not into interior decorating.
Seamless segue, she wanted me to stop by this morning to drop off some recipes I'd printed up off the computer for her (all Serbian dishes that seem to be based on butter, sausage, and heavy cream), along with what was leftover of the pot of sauerkraut and navy bean soup that I'd made the other day. I said sure because, why not? I wouldn't dare go near that soup, even though the kids ate it and survived. I just think that my ass would become a noxious area and I would like to think that I might have sex at some point this week. Not ass sex, regular sex, but my ass is nearby, and you probably get the too graphic picture by now, so I'll cease and desist.
Well, Junior had all three of her grandchildren today, babysitting on her day off, and of course I got roped in to help. Three hours of playing Nerf golf with a two year old who walked around in his underpants just in case we had to get him on the pot in a hurry. I love how he says my name, which made up for the mind numbing boredom: jenn-uh-FUR. Tacking the 'aunt' on the front of it is too much bother for him. He's a little dude of action, not words or titles. I can respect that, and technically I'm Great-Aunt jennuhFUR, so what the hell.
One cool thing: I got him to stick his finger up his nose while I was taking his picture. The biggest grin with his right index finger up there to the main knuckle! Can't wait to get the film developed.
I was glad to make my escape, though. I don't know how Junior watches all three of those kids at once. At least the baby is a sleeper, so that's one shred of mercy. But the other two just go nonstop. I think that this is why stay at home moms drink in the afternoon. It certainly would explain a lot.